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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
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| Sunday, November 15th, 2009 |
bartok
|
1:06p |
The Sarah Jane Adventures
 While some may prefer their Science-Fiction TV to be on the more "serious" side I can't help but appreciate when a show has its heroes saving the Earth from The Mona Lisa and her Space-Blaster. Current Mood:  amused |
| Saturday, November 14th, 2009 |
thiswiredlife
|
1:12p |
It's gonna be a LONG night...
MAKE REQUESTS EARLY!
Tune In, Chat & View The Webcam At:
KarnivalRadio.com
Then, come out after the show and hang out with
DJ 1.5, Rage (of Karnival Radio) and the rest of the
Karnival Krew at The Chamber!
|
randomcha
|
8:54a |
3 Things
La Moustache [2005] 1. The shoelace breaks. Just like it did before. 2. It's raining so hard that he literally cannot see through the window. The house where he grew up no longer exists. 3. The man shows him pictures that he doesn't remember. But they actually do exist. It's at this point he accepts that he really has to go along with what's happening. |
| Friday, November 13th, 2009 |
randomcha
|
11:07a |
3 Things
The Young One [1960] 1. The old man has died and his corpse is still lying in the bed. It has one boot on and one boot off. On a table by the bed is a bottle of whiskey and an empty (but previously used) glass. Miller discovers the corpse and says, "So, he finally kicked it." He notices the bottle just sitting there. Picks up the glass and brings it halfway to his lips. Then he looks over at the bed and thinks better of it, puts it back down. Later he goes back to his cabin and has a drink from his own bottle of whiskey. 2. Smooth tracking shots of the pursuit through the swamp. 3. She walks across the pier awkwardly in her high-heeled shoes. Then she begins to skip across an imaginary hopscotch board. What a great double bill this would make with The Intruder! |
peccavo
|
10:56a |
Queering Catholicism
I've long taken a lot of flack for retaining my Catholic identity. I'm proud of it, and I continue to be. It's part of who I am and it has shaped my outlook on life. Before the current pope was elevated, I and several other people were enjoying a wave of liberalisation and were looking forward to a more open, more inclusive church. Then came Benedict. I'm no great fan of JPII, but he was much more of a hands off guy. Since Benedict came along, he has commissioned bishops to "reign in" parishes that didn't tow his line. He has encouraged the nut jobs to be more political. And rather than reaching out to Catholics who live in the modern world, he has done his best to embrace those further removed from it. Those things I've let smoulder without letting it get to me too much. Times change and old coots die. There are a lot of people like me who want to reclaim the catholic identity and that's fine. But things are stirring deeper within me as I've studied more. Benedict holds the church tight to neo-platonism, and is trying to re-invigorate it rather than move to a modern model. While neo-platonism is a robust platform, it's ultimately inconsistent with modernity; I don't think I can continue identifying with a neo-platonic view of the world. The fundamental idea of neo-platonism is that there is an absolute form that we can aspire to, i.e. in an ideal world there would be no differences. But I've come to understand that it's our inherent differences that inspire true growth. Neo-platonism would have us think that growth comes from the elimination of differences. That's why the gay thing, inter alia, is anathema to Benedict's Catholicism. It's very subtle, and hard to see. I don't think most people see it. Most people want to go directly to the bible and argue against biblical teachings directly... but the problem isn't the bible-- it's the framing. Sure the biblical arguments may work against evangelicals, but they're a very simple minded lot. Catholics have no inherent problem with gay sex (obviously most priests don't); seriously, gay sex between adults has always been encouraged under the table. The problem is admitting it's a good thing and a healthy, fulfilling form of expression. To properly queer Catholicism, the neoplatonic frame work needs to be dismantled. At that point, other reforms (desperately needed) can take place. I know many people would argue the modern man does not have spiritual needs as they only arise from fear and psychiatric problems. But I don't think that's the case. The modern human being may need spiritual nurturing more... given all the stresses and absurdities of modern life. But it seems the catholic church has lost interest in tending to its flock, and only cares about making a big stink about how good life would be in people listened to them. They don't realise they need to say something worth listening to. |
forrestunknown
|
3:05a |
don't call me baby, don't call me angel, you don't have any claim to have propriety rights on me
So my tickets are bought and the dates set for my month long excursion to Ohio, I am not sure how I feel about such a long stay. Mainly, because I hate not working, literally I need a secondary atmosphere that work brings along with the routine and mindset. Too much vacation or sloth time feels like toxins are creeping into my veins.
Supposedly before the end of the month ... just like all the times for the last 6 months I will finally have a grasp on the extent of the disease .. again information is stingy, I found more out in personal research than in discoursing with all the medical professionals particularly since the records never seem to be up to date. Its easy to be frustrated.
I do hate my birthday ... not because I am getting older, I actually enjoy that, but the festivity, the acknowledgment is so forced and fake, hence the reason I secretly deleted it from my work calendar. All in all, there has only been about 2 birthdays that have been good, the rest are simply forgettable which is fine by me. What does a birthday signify anyhow .. the day you were brought into the world ... I suppose I see other days are more important to me, markers that truly define you then on what is often an arbitrary day according to your mother's biological aspects.
Over this year, I am beginning to learn how to slow release some of the concern, fear, and anxiety with tears. A few tears now and then don't leave me in any kind of physically weakened state and pass quickly into another mood. Being in the crazy time of registration and work where I will easily work until 8 or 9 at night is relaxing .... the day is maddening with student entreaties and worries, and the night well I focus on emails, paperwork and meditations on my students. This is when I love my job, when I feel most alive even though my old speech impediment or some form of one occasionally interjects into my conversations and causes me to trip over my words. My old speech impediment really became an issue after the divorce of my parents and strangely went mysteriously away after the death of my sister, I think it was a cry for attention in all honesty. I don't crave attention at the moment, esp when the burr in my voice, causing me to at times get creative and reword my sentiments. I take it in humor and then so do the students since they see no embarrassment, no shame. For me peace is found in chaos and the unexpected, its easier to live and to adapt as things are thrown at you, when the world is quite, peaceful and in repose often you are caught unaware, ill prepared, and disadvantaged when it comes to change. It leaves you weak and vulnerable, two things I loathe to be.
Its 3 am and I am still wound up after leaving work after 11 hours ... and tomorrow it will be a repeat of sorts, except at the conclusion I will making homemade lemon drops (finally using some of that vodka I have in stock) and shaking my tits at a club with some cute girls. My life is good, well as best it can be given the circumstances, but then cleaning house in the literal sense and purging idle friends from my social sphere has that cleansing effect on the soul.
Total Random Fact: Madonna's True Blue album was my very first cassette every bought with my own money
Current Mood:  crazyCurrent Music: "True Blue" - Madonna |
| Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 |
randomcha
|
10:42a |
3 Things
True Stories [1986] 1. The movie was designed for the 1.37:1 aspect ratio. Not widescreen. Very unusual for a 1986 theatrical release. Perhaps Byrne designed it that way so that it wouldn't lose much when shown on video? 2. "Linda! Larry! There's no concept of weekends anymore!" He bows and the lights dim except for the spotlights on the table. The other actors are motionless. 3. He pours the colored sand onto the floor in a circle around himself. |
| Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 |
knacker_prince
|
1:17a |
Ditzy Waitress
There's a café beside work where I habitually take my measly 30-minute breaks. Over the summer and at weekends since then, there's been a blonde, pretty waitress called Cathy working there. Her parents own the place, she's a student in Limerick, she's got a boyfriend... Oh, Cathy loves to talk. She never shuts the hell up, in fact. I know everything there is to know about Cathy: the kind of phone she owns, what she's studying, where she goes at weekends, her favourite snacks. There's probably tons of other stuff too, I never pay much attention. So yesterday, I go in as usual to grab a tea and a chocolate muffin. I'm prepared for Cathy's usual joke about how she likes to have a shortbread Snack and suck the chocolate through the tea. Every week, I don't try it, haha! CATHY: Oh, hi! ME: Hey there. CATHY: How are you? ME: Oh, fine, not too bad. CATHY: Were you out last night? ME: Yeah, Rob had a house party, it was fun... CATHY: Score any birds? I almost laughed in her face, but I was too horrified. This girl has been talking to me for months. Guys, I'm not the butchest mo on the block. She's asked me about my books (dunno where she got that nugget from) and I've told her the first one is about gay sex and the IRA (thought it might shut her up). WHAT DOES IT TAKE? ME: NO! Bruno gave me a kiss, that was the closest I got to true love, HAHA. |
bartok
|
10:50a |
My TiVo needs "correcting".
5 days into being a TiVo owner and I've started to run into some "issues" due to the *ahem* limited nature of New Zealand television (Let's just say that reruns of Sheepdog-trials from the 1990s make up a large portion of the programming on some of the lesser channels). One of the selling points of the device is the fact that it will monitor what you watch and then record shows you might like. So now every day I'm finding new "gems" waiting for me. However since there's a limited pool from which the device can get shows I've ended up with some rather bizarre "TiVo Suggestions" such as: -China TV's CCTV8 Nightly News -Sunday Morning Religious Programming - Scooby Doo 2: Monsters UnleashedSo the machines now think that I a) need to learn Mandarin (or possibly Cantonese) b)should find God c)would enjoy anything starring Freddie Prinze Jr. or Sarah Michelle Gellar. Let's just say that as a result I'll now be using the little "thumbs up/down" buttons a lot to ensure that the bastard knows exactly what I like to watch. And don't even get me started on the number of Australian Soap-Operas I have to keep deleting. They're like televisual cockroaches. Current Mood:  annoyed |
| Monday, November 9th, 2009 |
randomcha
|
8:38a |
3 Things
The Grapes of Wrath [1940] 1. She reads the postcard one last time and then gently tips it into the flames. 2. The immaculately creased white trousers worn by the camp superintendent. 3. Three shadows in the dirt. |
peccavo
|
8:50a |
I've been chipper, energetic, and even happy since I started taking the vitamin B12. Goes to show what resolving one small deficiency can do. But in reflection, even though my body was not in very good shape, I did not use that to fuel my depression. I'm very proud of that. I got up everyday, did my routine, went to work, and made the best of things. Now, I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around, and I didn't get half of what I wanted to done, but I worked at it. Sometimes, I think that's all we can ever do in this life. I'll be interested to see how my life changes as I continue to take the B12. Sunday, my friend Jon and I bicycled to the top of Mt Washington. For me it was a challenging ride. But I liked it. I've been meaning to try a route up there for years. Bike groups regularly ride up, but I've never joined. I had a lot of fun, and it gave me a good bit of fulfillment. Will joined us for dinner later, and Jon proposed his idea for the three of us to take a weekend get-away to Akron, OH to enjoy the leather scene there. I watched Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead with Will Friday night. I thought it was amazing when I was a teenager. I like it now, but my tastes have broadened. One scene I really loved was the pantomime of the play Hamlet the players put on. Dry humour is so hard to come by these days. I finished planting the tulips and narcissi. I planted them in the rose garden. There are still many daffodils, and I'm giving a few dozen to a friend, Mark. Mark, incidentally, used my garden for his geraniums this year while he moved. They're very pretty and smell nice. Emma took a few cuttings to see if we can get them to grow. I'm worried about getting everything together for Greece. But, it should all be fine. |
| Sunday, November 8th, 2009 |
wicked_danu
|
7:47p |
Firework memory
Last Thursday was Guy Fawkes' Night here in England. The night commemorates the arrest of Guy Fawkes, an English Catholic who was part of a plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament, the seat of the English Protestant rulership, with gunpowder. Since then, it's tradition to light bonfires and fire fireworks into the sky/neighbors' backyard. As I was walking back home on Thursday night, I saw the colorful fireworks (albeit nothing as grand as the ones I've seen in the Dubai Shopping Festival). The strong smell of gunpowder transported me back 17 years to the verandah of our home in Nagpur, India. I have vague memories of a Diwali celebration we had at our place in Nagpur when I was little (probably about four years old). There were diyas (mud lamps) outside the house. We had some fireworks like phuljhadi (sparkly sticks) and anaar (pomegrenate) and fire crackers that had scared Elsa the dog away. The smell of gunpowder had been strong in the air. So I reached my door, dreaming of that night at home in India. I turned the key and let myself in and it didn't smell of gunpowder anymore. Current Mood:  calmCurrent Music: John Williams - Stolen Memories |
| Saturday, November 7th, 2009 |
thiswiredlife
|
6:25p |
|
randomcha
|
9:50a |
3 Things
Scott Walker: 30 Century Man [2006] 1. On tour: Roy Orbision, The Walker Brothers, Lulu. 2. Newspaper headline: "Scott hides away in a gloom-world" 3. Someone compares Walker to Francis Bacon. Later, in a recording studio, a percussionist plays a giant piece of meat while Walker listens from the control booth. |
| Friday, November 6th, 2009 |
randomcha
|
3:17p |
3 Things
Les félins [1964] 1. Jane chops up some herbs, takes a roast leg of mutton out of the oven. 2. "He wants proof that you suffered." He presses RECORD on the tape machine. 3. Lalo Schifrin's score. Plucked strings, harpsichord. In a scene towards the end we even get some Dixieland. A jazzy little movie. If only the screenplay had been a little tighter and the direction a little less arty. Still, I liked it. By the way, the American title Joy House is completely lame. |
forrestunknown
|
1:16a |
love in the extreme, are you game, can you handle it, or is it too much and will you shy away
Jim told me that I had been called the gayest person ever ...hmmm really whatever ... the comment itself doesn't bother me ... please I know my gay history, I have taught a gay film class as well as a safezone ... I know gay ... so that is not in dispute. What annoys me is that the little fucker lacks any balls to ever say anything directly to me. I do think he thinks that me painting my nails and perhaps changing my hair color to exotic hues only amplifies this particular opinion, not too mention my extreme arrogance. But comon, at least stand up, everything I say "in private" I will say to your face, I have no issue with that, the only exception is venting talk .. that more pissy ranting that is rarely housed within a strong opinion, its more of the moment and immediate drainage than truth so its rarely if ever to be taken literally. My friends should know to always approach me with issues, if I find out things have been said behind my back you are likely to get your ass beat, scratched, and verbally and quite possibly literally punched.
I don't care if people don't like me, I expect that, we all can't be liked, I just want people to have some conviction ... this is simply another example of why I see weakness everywhere.
This was soon followed by what I thought was an innocuous comment on my cousin's facebook, poking at someone else's comment which eventually got the words Fag and Homo thrown at me. And try as I might to diffuse the situation, I failed at all attempts ... strangely I didn't try and engage my anger simply because I didn't want to cause drama for my cousin Jaime since it involved someone on her husband's side of the family. Side note ... the calling me the epithets didn't piss me, ignorance such as that display makes me pity them ... trying to correct me on my blood uncle's name is and correcting me with a nickname ... oh now that infuriated me ... its always the little things that turn the crank on my temper.
A month in Ohio .... oh yes its what I am planning ... it will be strange ... but it will go well I hope ... the only issue is that it will be over the holidays and when our relatives congregate ... in a very enclosed space. Nothing ... and I mean nothing will aggravate me like my relatives ... my father and I got into it over the phone over basic dates and events (damn little things)... I see drama in the future or an overdose of wine. But Chris is planning on coming down, there will be visits with Rita, and most likely some other peeps from home, so it will be good ... I just hope my heart doesn't have to hurt too much when I spend time with my momma and maybe this illness will magically just go away.
Should I feel bad for feeling as though I am simply peripheral property? Even speaking to my father last night ... its very evident that his true heart is still enamored with my mother, the kids well we are representatives of that association, Ed and Laura more so because they were around for a majority of the marriage. When I spoke with my mom, she also agreed to a certain extent with most of my views, just to a slightly lesser extent. Me, I am an enigma to him, a very frustrating puzzle that fails to conform to what he expects and even wants. He would give us (the siblings and more myself) up in a second if he could simply have her .. and though the love is endearing and amazing, I also see it completely flawed and warped. However, time has allowed it to mature slightly and a little less obsessively, so he sadly takes whatever crumbs he imagines she gives him. I would feel pity, but it can be hard to summon any emotion when it comes to him well except anger for pissing me off.
If I were more submissive, more pliant, perhaps straight, he would feel more at ease, instead we are in a constant battle of dominance with him often just walking away anymore ... and that is satisfying. We are alike in so many ways, almost too many.
Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: "Two is Better Than One" - Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift |
bartok
|
1:14p |
Once again I have to manage my expectations.
I now have a TiVo. That statement would seem a lot more exciting/impressive if there were more than 8 channels to watch on it (not including the New Zealand Parliament Channel and Chinese CTV8). Yes, I know they've been available in the US since 1999 but they just came out here today. Kiwis don't like jumping on bandwagons too quickly. Current Mood:  content |
| Thursday, November 5th, 2009 |
randomcha
|
10:16a |
|
randomcha
|
9:06a |
3 Things
The Men Who Stare at Goats [2009] 1. "What's with the air quotes? Are you implying that I'm only capable of ironically strangling you?" 2. "The silence of the goats." 3. He demonstrates the Predator. Pretty good! I think it falls a little short of the grand slam it could've been with a more seasoned director, but the script is solid and so is the acting. It reminded me a bit of Dr. Strangelove: it's very, very funny but at the same time what's at the core of the movie is also pretty sad. |
peccavo
|
8:46a |
Fierce
Ladies and Gentlemen, Leslie Gore: |
| Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 |
peccavo
|
7:31a |
Random
In my dreams last night, I was supposed to donate a lung to someone in my family-- my mother or brother or something. And I had to wake up early to go to the hospital, but no one would give me a friggin' ride, so I had to walk. The nerve. I also had a few dreams about a snake trying to come after me... it wasn't trying to eat me, I could tell it was a friendly snake. Still, not ready to be comfortable with snakes. And in any event, I thought I had exorcised the snake dreams. Yeah, I have recurrent nightmares about snakes. I looked up the entry for Paula Abdul on wikipedia the other day-- son of a gun, she's Jewish. LOL. I was not expecting that. I always thought she was half black or something. Nope. Jew Jew Jew. Jewish mother. Jewish father. Jew. LOL. When I was little, we had a her album on cassette that would play incessantly in the car-- then my brothers would bring it into the daycare center where the little girls would want to hear it more. The only reason I went along with it was because it got people to stop talking about Michael Jackson or New Kids on the Block. I even got roped into being part of a choreographed performance to one of her songs in summer camp. Aw. Memories. Another memory: Little Red Riding Hood Remember when Oldies stations played "Your favorite hits" from the 40s and 50s. I do. Painfully. |
| Monday, November 2nd, 2009 |
randomcha
|
2:47p |
|
randomcha
|
2:43p |
3 Things
Black Sunday [1960] 1. Bulging eyeballs. 2. Her face transforms, ages. 3. Behind the torn canvas is a lever which operates the door to the secret passageway. |
peccavo
|
10:51a |
Lost in a dream Don't know which way to go If you are all that you seem Then baby I'm moving way too slow I've been a fool before Wouldn't like to get my love caught In the slammin' door How about some information--please |
| Sunday, November 1st, 2009 |
forrestunknown
|
11:14p |
taking this too far, come back and listen, at least hear what I have to say before you walk away
I don't allow the word love to fall from my lips all that often, it was a rare treat before but sometimes said without thinking before, out of habit or automatic response. But now, if and when its said, I examine it. Sure there are varying levels of application, but I to utter something with so much value without a foundation makes it become cheap. There are exceptions, children for one, innocence such as that doesn't understand the complicated mess that comes with emotions, things are a little more black and white and I suppose family is another. Family as in family, not necessary those that are relatives.
In my life, love has hit perhaps 3 times, and all so very long ago, and perhaps not so strange, all female and all in my life to this day. I didn't realize I was someone's first love ... I was in awe of that, particularly since she was the person I almost lost my virginity to or wanted to at least. Things change, people change I suppose, and life is sometimes better for what did not happen then what could have been.
I am in process of change, and maybe I am going through a cyclical thing, but I seem to be examining friends and making decisions on where and how they place in my life. Many are lacking, and perhaps I am lacking for them as well, I could see it, a good relationship should be reciprocal, most times it should be easy. In the end, I always seem to want more, maybe too much, maybe simply a dream, or an escape to stay away from people, I can't really say.
Halloween came and went, what trailed with it where these strange .. strange dreams, and states reminiscent of my fever states from college. It becomes heavily confusing when trying to distinguish between the dream world and the waking world, a grey mist starts to envelop your vision and you spend time trying to shift through the rubble that remains of both worlds, laying piece after piece in the appropriate bins to create some boundaries and firmament. However, the walls often collapse, creating more refuse, until with your hands bloodied you give up. I was just in the initial states last week, and though there is still some confusion, I just chose to blanket the entire time as a fucked up delusion due to drugs and illness.
There are times when I am too much ... and then I have to question by what definition and how so, and why should I ever consider myself too much, does this lead into the presence that people have spoken to or something else?
Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: "I Run to You" - Lady Antebellum |
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